I've just spent a little while trying to clear some of my emails. So if you have emailed in the past couple of weeks (and not received an email) then there is a 50% chance that I have replied tonight. If you emailed me earlier than that then you'll have to wait longer as I'm working backwards through some of the easier ones. Here is one from David Crellin in Germany that needs to reply but should keep you amused.
IDIOT SIGHTING no.1
My daughter and I went to the McDonald's take-away window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece and she said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said,'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..
Do not confuse the clerks at Rickmansworth MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING no.2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one
of our problems was that we did not have a 'large enough' motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that
time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr. Watford.
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Potters Bar , Herts.
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken shop and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimum lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts.
IDIOT SIGHTING no.5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened at Luton Airport.
IDIOT SIGHTING no.6
The 'pelican' light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged colleague of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the crossing light is green.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a local County Councillor in Harrow , Middlesex.
IDIOT SIGHTING no.7
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the fitter/mechanic, 'it's open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in St. Albans, Hertfordshire.
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!
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