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Thursday 13 October 2011

I bet Rooney would have been disqualified

The eagle eyed followers of my reports from the Isle of Man Bank Hill League would have noticed that I missed the top three runners from my photos and hand held video camera. I walked up the lane in which the runners finish but went beyond the track under the trees from which they emerged.

I think my mind must still have been on the rather dull football match involving England the previous night. I think that the England team should have had to enter the hill race to see how they would fare against a bunch of people who enjoy their sport and try all the time.

Had the 11 England players taken part, this is my assessment of how they would have performed.

Joe Hart would have got lost when he ran off course to find out where the defenders had gone to.


Phil Jones would have performed well in his first hill race and would  have been let off even though he tripped several runners up with his enthusiasm.


Gary Cahill would have done lots of running but his Garmin would have shown extra mileage as he was clearly off course at times.


John Terry would have had a sore throat shouting at the other runners to tell them what they would have done wrong but wouldn't have contributed much himself.


Ashley Cole would not have stuck to the paths because he was clearly leaving too much space for the opposition.


Worse for Theo Walcott, I think he would have collided with several of the trees running into gaps that didn't exist.


Gareth Barry - I didn't see him at all.


Darren Bent looked a winner in the early stages but also went missing later.


Ashley Young also faded as the race went on but managed the odd sprint here and there.


But what about the two most disappointing runners.


Scott Parker ran the whole course in the opposite direction to his team mates and Wayne Rooney, as expected by the punters in Liverpool, was disqualified before reaching the end for an outrageous trip on Lloyd Taggart which he blamed on Lloyd for running over his out stretched leg.  

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